All the judgey ladies, All the judgey ladies.
Beyonce gave birth to her baby girl a few days ago and boy are the pitchforks out. One would think the woman gave birth to the Antichrist judging from some reactions I have seen online. Would the mark of the beast be the Roc sign? Hova. Hova. Δ Δ Δ
I digress.
According to some media reports several parents were prevented from visiting their children in the NICU due to the Carters’ privacy demands at New York’s Lenox Hill Hospital. The Carters’ delivery suite was located on was the same floor as the hospital NICU and several parents complained that the Carters’ private and hospital security prevented them and their families from seeing their babies. Some have speculated that the Carters spent 1.3 million dollars to rent the hospital suite. People are outraged that Beyonce’s “selfishness” prevented parents from seeing their equally precious kids.
I am not a Beyonce fan and can clearly see how this logic is completely faulty.
How is it Beyonce’s fault that this for profit hospital chose to place a higher value on the alleged $1.3 million dollars the Carters paid for their suite than the emotions of stressed, worried, and heartbroken parents?
This ridiculous celebrity pregnancy worship has finally illuminated a real issue. Hospitals do not always (usually?) care about you, your baby, your baby’s health, or your feelings. They care about money like all other for profit corporations. Where is the anger directed at Lenox Hill? Why do they give preferential treatment to wealthy patients? Aren’t we all human?
If this is a regular practice for patients of means then surely they should have anticipated this debacle and made special accommodations that wouldn’t inconvenience other patients. It is outrageous and maddening to think of any parent being turned away from their child, even more heartbreaking a child in the NICU, but why blame Beyonce?
A lot of the moms I have seen directing their anger at Beyonce are the very first to throw out the played out “Don’t judge other moms” cliche. You do not know that Beyonce is selfish. You do not know that she had an elective c-section because she is “too posh to push” and had a planned tummy tuck. You do not know what her actual due date was and whether she was unnecessarily induced early. You do not know whether she has an underlying medical condition that required a hospital birth.
Why are you judging? Is she fair game because she is a wealthy celebrity? It is disappointing to see some of the most ardent birth advocates hypocritically judging Beyonce for a hospital’s mismanagement and questionable practices.
Fight the good fight ladies. The issue is that hospitals are corporations that see only dollar signs not feelings. How can we fix this? How can we level the playing field for families that are less fortunate or have no insurance?
Put your pitch forks away and lobby your local Representatives and Senators. Put your US weekly down and visit the state capital. Schedule a meeting with your elected officials. Attend a hearing. Do something. Judging beyonce isn’t changing anything.
Please stop acting as if you had millions of dollars at your disposal that you wouldn’t indulge in some unnecessary luxuries (not at the expense of others) such as a post birth hair stylist and makes artist. Who doesn’t love a beautiful photo with their newborn?
Lastly, for the haters judging Beyonce for daring to care about her appearance: behold the picture below.
That photo was taken minutes after Cmoney was born in a private suite in Vermont overlooking the mountains and with glimpses of Lake Champlain. Luxurious. I looked phenomenal and I’m not ashamed to say so.
Hate away.
As soon as I saw the title of this post I smiled. I made sure to straighten my hair and put on make up when I was in labor. When I was in transition I remember looking in the mirror and being grateful I did. I forgot how great you looked post-birth!!
You looked fantastic. I’m glad you shared the picture.
@dianthehall
and this is why i love you! i did my makeup before both deliveries – why? because i had a birth photographer and wanted to look GOOD!!
Good for you. Exactly. I’m jealous that you had a photographer. Those photos must be lovely. Thanks for your support xo
Umm, yeah. You nailed it. Rock on. And I never look that good after having a baby. Trying not to hate.
Hey! I didn’t look that way after the first. Believe me. I’ll share those soon too
thanks for your support.
@samsstories
That is totally unfair. I could have hired hair and makeup for Coop’s birth, but I would have still looked like someone ran my ass (and face) over with a bus. If you’re naturally beautiful (I’m looking at you, V!) you’re going to look better no matter what. You’re a cheater! (Yes I did totally ignore the point of this post.)
Lol #1 I miss you and #2 I’m not blowing smoke I’ve seen you in person. Did you forget? You’re stunning. So nice try there lady
True. I was actually lying there nursing my kids, thinking almost the EXACT stuff you said we shouldn’t be thinking. (You do not know that Beyoncé is selfish. You do not know that she had an elective c-section because she is “too posh to push” and had a planned tummy tuck. You do not know what her real due date was and whether she was unnecessarily induced early. You do not know whether she has an underlying medical condition that required a hospital birth.) I did go over in my head that I shouldn’t judge because I don’t know what she’s experienced in life (maybe past sexual abuse and a vaginal birth would bring trauma) or experiencing now. And it kinda doesn’t matter what I think about her anyway. I’ve had many people judge me this year and I thought I had learned my lesson not to judge!! Thank you for the reality check. =)
I havent even read anybody else’s take on it. Yours is the first and I’m glad I read it.
Thanks so much for your comment. We all totally judge. It’s human nature. But the most vociferous “stop being judgey!” moms seem to be the worst offenders and it makes me insane.
I remind myself of that too. We never know what someone’s been through. Celebrity or not.
Oh, and I was so confused cuz I thought you were saying those were HER post-birth pics. I’m like ummm, thats NOT Beyonce. LOL. You look great!
Hahaha that’s awesome.
Oh and thanks so much!
@babybabylemon
I read this entire post twice trying to figure out who the hell the Carters where. Then I figured out that maybe, just maybe, Z wasn’t actually Jay-Z’s last name.
@Holly_Homemaker
I know you’re right but I still think Beyonce is such an asshole!
Why!?! She didn’t do anything.
@Holly_Homemaker
I’ve always thought she was an asshole, TBH. The whole worshipping celebrity culture gets them cracked out on their own self importance which while I know isn’t necessarily their own fault, but they encourage it and lap it up all the same.
I don’t know. She seems pretty nice and does things to give back to the community. She worked her ass off to get where she is versus someone like Gwenyth Paltrow but I agree I hate the culture. I’m not a celebrity worshipper at all but as far as annoying celebrities go B is pretty low on the totem pole. There are people way more obnoxious than her. Katy Perry for one. Ew.
I couldnt give one shit about any celebrity birth and this was the first i had heard anything about it. Like someone else, im glad i read this first, its a great way to frame the issue in a bigger picture way. And like someone else i still think Beyonce is an asshole, but that has nothing to do with birthing and the decisions of hospital administrators, and everything to do with my loathing of overpaid and oversold show-ponies.
Oh and i wish i looked even half presentable after my birthing experience… but somehow i dont see things changing much second time around! Good on you ladies who do though!
I love your whole comment.
Excellent read… I was gulity of this….and I see where I was wrong. You are right….the hospital allowed it. I still feel sorry for the families who missed out on precious time with their babies. I would like to think they could sue the hospital.
Thank god it all turned out to be lies
thanks for stopping by lady xo
Well Said!! Indeed!! ~~~
Thank you
Just curious…..did you have a c section? If not, did you take any drugs or have an epidural? Those factors DO alter appearance in a lot of women. Make up or not. So…I’m just curious. You do look very pretty though! Even if you hadn’t just had a baby!
I fully intend to look spectacular after giving birth next time around especially after seeing your pictures, BMM looked good after her birth too. I wonder if I should straighten my hair or curly either way I think it’ll end in some crazy frizz because of all the sweat and such.
anywho.
In regards to Beyonce I don’t care if she had a c-section or why or whatever, I didn’t even think about that. When hearing that the whole wing was shut down for her and her baby that did upset me. Yes it’s the hospitals fault as well, of course it is. But blame can also be put on Beyonce and Jay-Z, they got what they paid for and I’m sure they knew what they were paying for. I understand their need for privacy but I also understand the need for NICU moms to be with their babies. I think to place blame on one and not the other isn’t right both the hospital and Beyonce/Jay-Z knew what they were doing. You don’t pay 1.3 million dollars (if the reports are true) not to have complete and utter privacy they had to have known what that entailed.
Nope I didn’t have a c section and I don’t discuss my birth story on my blog. Not judging those that do. I just don’t. I will say that I had an incredibly fast labor.
Oh and thanks so much : )
OH man! I agree. I went on E yesterday and was reading some of the comments about the birth. Good grief some people are so crazy. I even read one that said she had the the baby in an Illuminati hospital and that Jay z, Alicia Keys and her husband are all Masons. They were calling the baby the antichrist. Shameful.
Obviously you ladies have never had a baby in the NICU!! Babies that go in the NICU are there because they are sick and fighting for their live!! I dont care who or what had their baby in that hospital it is WRONG to tell any parent they cannot see their their baby!!!
Yes. That’s pretty much the entire point of the post. And it is the HOSPITAL that is at fault for doing such a horrible thing. Maybe re read the post? And also stop the judgement. How do you know anything about my or any of my commenters experiences with the NICU? You don’t. Your anger is misdirected.
@odd_mama_out
Wrong- I have had a child in NICU- actually in an LIJ hospital similar to Lenox Hill. I would be pissed if I was unable to see my child but I wouldn’t blame Beyonce. She just had a baby and she isn’t sitting out in the hallway causing the issue. The hospital management screwed up. Call them out on it. Obviously it is easy (understandably so) to get all wrapped up in the emotional turmoil that is having a child is intensive-care and not see the bigger picture. How can we move forward and make sure that this does not happen again to another family? Hospitals putting profit before care is a bigger problem and needs to be dealt with.
Carrie-Ann – that may be true for most babies in the NICU, but I was fortunate (or unfortunate) to have a baby in the NICU because she was just on the small side – a twin – 4lbs. Perfectly healthy and strong. I fought tooth and nail to get her out of there because she did NOT need to be in there, hooked up to machines. I fought tooth and nail to see her as often as could – many times I was turned away or told I could only stay for a few minutes because of a staff change over. It was the longest 5 days of my life. One event that still breaks my heart – as soon as I was able to get out of bed and down the elevator to the NICU to see her, I did. I asked them if I could hold her and breastfeed her for the 1st time. They denied me permission to take her out of of her isolet. I was crushed. I returned to my room and to my other baby – phoning the NICU about 20 min later, to see if I could nurse her yet. I was told she had ALREADY BEEN FED!!! A total stranger (nurse) took her out of her bed and gave her a bottle of formula without my knowledge or permission…just minutes after denying me the chance to hold her for the 1st time. I will never, ever forget the moment.
Every moment with your children is precious, whether they are sick or not – my heart aches for those parents separated two-fold from their wee babies. I would be raising some serious hell, I tell ya!
I only wish I looked that hot on a regular day, but especially after giving birth. I had this whole pre-eclampsia fat face going on. The pictures are pretty hilarious though.
*lives
A-freaking-men! My first thought was, “Well the hospital took the money, didn’t they?”
Also, you look so fantastic in those pictures. My post birth pictures were taken after 36 hours of labor, an emergency c-section, and substantial blood loss, and I STILL thought I looked pretty great. I was doing that cliched radiating of happiness thing!
PLease note:
Carters’. NOT Carter’s.
Your points are excellent. However, it is unfortunately easy for educated readers to write you and your blog off, not even getting to your excellent points, due to your kindergarten punctuation.
You are SO educated. Thanks so much for your help. I wrote this post at 1 am while nursing a baby and helping my husband study case practices for his interview at a prestigious management consulting firm. So…please excuse the typos.
You? Can crawl back under your “educated” rock. Thanks again xo
@odd_mama_out
You must write off a lot then because that is a common error/typo to make when writing and I see it in major publications daily. Add to that being up all night long with children who like to party all night long, helping a husband study for his MBA work…being an all around sleep deprived mom? Believe me, her educated readers can forgive the typos and move on with the post.
Haha please go ahead and call Sol and her Cornell degree uneducated. Please. Go on.
You need a hobby chica.
First, you look simply amazing! I judge no mother for wanting to look great after birth, or any time really. Rock on!
I think that Beyonce, like any mother, deserves her privacy and her baby needs peacefulness. My problem is that their needs came before those of the rest of the parents and infants. The hospital is absolutely part of the problem here, as they allowed it. However, it was also requested by her, or her husband, without regard to how it might impact other families. (Perhaps it was considered, but it clearly didn’t impact their decision.) I find fault in both parties here.
Having children that were born premature, it upsets me more that this was done in a way that it also disrupted the NICU. Infants in the NICU have needs that need met on strict timelines, and while one might not think a 20 minute wait is a big deal, for a premature baby it really is a lot of time since they have such special needs.
When our middle child was born early (33 weeks), I was pumping, feeding and practicing kangaroo care around the clock. Even the smallest break was a kink in the system. I would have been terribly upset if I could not have made a feeding on time when any growth was so important.
Great post. I love seeing someone call out those judgey Moms. Thank you! I’m sure Beyonce has been planning for months how to disrupt the lives of other new parents. Seriously, right on with blame the HOSPITAL!
Yes. This. All of it. Thank you.
PS. GAH, still can’t get over how fab you looked right after having a baby!
Why blame beyonce??? Because she knew darned well what age was doing, that’s why! This was a huge publicity stunt. Really, a for profit hosp valuing money and bring bought for 1.3 – no surprises there. But a MOTHER having the hard face and cold heart to do this to other mothers…. That turns the stomach. Both hosp and B are to blame IMO… but I can absolutely see why B is bearing the brunt of it.
I could care less if she why she had a csection. What angers me is that parents were turned away from their sick tiny children. Just Luke Carrie-Ann I too had a child in the NICU for 7 months, 213 days, an hour drive each way everyday.
If I was to be turned away or told I had to wait to see my child I would be very angry. I can understand if there was a surgery going on to a baby who was to sick or small to be moved but to be told I can not see my child because there is a celebrity and her child that is messed up. What would have happened if her daughter ended up in the NICU for some help, would the entire unit be closed to all other parents but the carters?
It is not only the hospitals fault but the carters as well. If they wanted all that security and more they should have also found out ahead of time what sections would be affected and how it would impact other patients.
@rosesdaughter
Being a labor and delivery nurse I have to point out the obvious as you have already said: we don’t know why Beyonce had to have a c section. She could have had numerous problems including a breech baby. And before you say something else, some doctors just won’t do vaginal breech deliveries on first time mommy’s. Second: who gives a rat’s a..??? It’s her business. And there is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best after having a baby. Those photos will live forever! And hospital administration does lots of things like block off corridors and units and everything else at the expense of others for money/celebrities. I’ve seen it. But, I think some of this may have been exaggerated. Because….it’s the media folks.
Anyway. you looked great Veronica! I have to remember my makeup when I have my next one!
I love this post. I had to laugh at the comments ” I’m not judgmental. I mean, I think Beyonce is an asshole but I’m not judgemental.” I can’t believe that adults say things like that about people that they don’t know. How do you teach your kids about not being prejudiced or about giving people a chance before you judge them?
I’m rambling but just taken aback at the irony of the post and the comments.
Sorry – but everything I’ve read points at the PRIVATE security and hospital security. Her private security was acting directly on the orders they were given. So if her or her husband’s directives cause NICU parents to not get to see their child(ren) – that’s VERY wrong on her and her husband’s parts AS WELL AS the hospital’s!
Here’s hoping it was all just rumors.
@SewSoDef
So Vincent and I have this joke about Beyonce from the one movie where she’s married to Idris Elba *shiver* *ohgodhessofine* where she & the blonde chick are having their catfight. There’s a point where we think B should have just naturally turned right to the camera, held up her triangle hands above her head and said, “It’s The ROC!” and then continued to kick ass.
I agree with everything you said, though I admit to being sad when I heard she had a c-section. I did have the initial curiosity about whether it was planned or not, and how it makes me sad that the c-section rate is rising so quickly. But, having had my own c-sections, I know there are a variety of reasons they can happen and I also know how judged I’ve felt by strangers who think they know something about me and the decisions I’ve made.
And truthfully, even if they made a whole bunch of decisions I disagree with, for reasons I think are stupid – they are not me. They are not my family, my mother, my spouse, etc.
I had a brief conversation on Twitter with someone about how amazing it would be if Beyonce breastfed and was vocal about it. The idea was that all her crazypants Stans would go nuts over breastfeeding, jump on the bandwagon and completely change our culture’s view of breastfeeding. Finally, psycho celebrity-worshipers are good for something!!!
And when I heard she had a c-section – which was reportedly elective (Um, who knows it was elective? Really? You’re sure?), I thought – “Great. Fat chance she’ll be breastfeeding.” But dude, who knows? And if she doesn’t? Guess what – her body, her baby, her family. I do think that with the sort of followers she has, she is a role model whether she wants to be, or whether she really should be. But I can’t put my judgments about parenting and health on her. She could be useful for so many people’s purposes, to get their soapbox issue out there on the front page . . . but exactly how responsible can we expect her to be? What you said about putting down your celeb mag and doing some ACTUAL WORK to promote healthier choices for moms is what we should all be doing, if we truly care about these issues and want to see some change.
Here’s my bit of judgment – absolutely, the hospital took her money. They are the ones who were “yes men” when it would mess with the NICU, which honestly, I think is disgusting. However!
I have a hard time believing that the Carters – having taken the trouble to rent out an entire floor, and likely very very concerned about security and privacy and having whatever they need on hand – were never, never, never told, or never noticed, that the NICU was on their floor. And I’m just saying – if it were me? As soon as I heard “NICU”, my first thought would have been – how will my stay impact the NICU? I would have wanted someone to figure that out.
And maybe they did have those thoughts. And maybe they did have someone check into it. And who knows – maybe the hospital even assured them there would be no issue, because they wanted that money. In the end, though, we see what happened . . . at some point, people who are able to throw around a lot of money to get very special treatment, need to be accountable for the way they impact others. I’m not saying they owe anything to the NICU parents or babies. I’m just saying they should have done a lot better job to make sure they didn’t get in the way of something as important as that. If I were the Carters, I’d be REAMING whomever was responsible for getting all that stuff straightened out. Who cares what the media says about it – I’d feel like a total jerk for having done that to someone else.
As for looking hot – more power to ya if you’re able to, and I can understand wanting to look pretty with your baby. I’ve murdered most of the pics of me in the hospital. I don’t know that any amount of makeup could have helped that situation.
Thankfully I don’t care.
@SewSoDef
Well, looks like it was all a lie. A LIE!
I just re-read my comment and I haven’t changed my perspective on any of it, except that obviously the language I used about the hospital, B, J, the Carters . . . all has to be changed to some sort of, “IF they rented out . . .” and “IF they shut down access to the NICU . . .” i.e. if some other rich & powerful person ever did that stuff, they should make sure they know how they’re impacting others. As it is, her method of birth is still interesting to me but *not* any of my business, and I’m glad to hear that no parents were kept from their babies in NICU, assuming we are to believe what the hospital has claimed, and not the one Dad.
And I still hope that all her insane fans will do something productive with their energies and promote breastfeeding.
Of course her fans won’t do anything productive. Theyll keep on watching E and trying to be like the Kardashians while society crumbles.
I cannot give B a free pass simply because the hospital took her money and provided the service she and her agents sought out. They wouldn’t have taken the money if it hadn’t been offered. (I’m trying to picture the circumstance that says otherwise. Maybe they kidnapped her, found pictures and extorted her, or sent out such a pitch crew that they were in fear of their lives if they did not, in fact, have their baby in this hospital with the floor blocked off to others?)
I cannot give the hospital a free pass because they did take money for something that should not have been allowed in the first place…not the act itself but the extreme.
While B wasn’t the one in the hospital halls and elevators denying access to parents and other family members, nor JZ, their agents were.
( a·gent/ˈājənt/
Noun:
A person who acts on behalf of another, in particular. ) <— Not because you don't know what this word means but to show why I choose this word rather than employee–for all we know, it could have been a brother or cousin or really good neighbor who was encouraging people to step back.
We all know if we are mistreated by an employee at a store or other business we (as a society) hold the company responsible as well as the agent of the company. What we have here is two economical structures. We have the conglomerate that is B and JZ, and we have the for-profit hospital working together creating a problem. So while maybe the mistreatment of others wasn't an act perpetrated of herself, she, is, in fact, responsible. (and when I say She, I mean, B and JZ)
Supply and demand. Do we get upset at the supply or do we get upset by demand? They are equally responsible.
I suppose it's entirely possible B and her Honey man had no clue what the NICU is though they aggressively sought out any information to understand yet were unsuccessful. I suppose it's possible they didn't know anyone was being denied access to anything though that was the service they requested and paid just a tiny little fee for. I suppose it's also possible that they were, in fact, told no one would be disturbed at all. But… I always gave them more credit in regards to their intelligence and access to information. Clearly they know how to do something right, I mean, from kinda "nothing" like me to super "something" like music royalty.
Hospitals, to echo your point, and praise the LORD someone other than me thought this, too, do not care one wit about YOU, ME, or ANYONE. Hospitals are a business first and foremost. They look at capital, at profit, at. the. bottom. line. We're just cows they milk. Whoever has the largest supply of milk gets the most attention, the most milking. They have policy after policy in line that we all simply placate because we (as a society) believe they are all knowing altruistic beings collected in building calculating like mad at how best to serve and protect our bodies for us. They. are. not. Hospitals, I mean. Of course, there are individuals who are next to Ghandi who hang MD, DO, RN, LPN, CNA, RA, RD, etc…, behind their names who bless us while we are treated and practiced on at a medical facility, however; these individuals are not who the focus is on.
The point to my long winded (finger exhausted) response is to say: While I love your message of not judging (which, in all seriousness, is impossible so shall we say not judging UNFAIRLY?), there is, in my opinion, joint responsibility for the hoopla at the hospital. Together, B/JZ and the Hospital with their respective agents, created an unfriendly and, potentially, unsafe situation for other patients in the effort to provide one couple a unique and special service.
Excellent points. And yes i should say judging unfairly but as it turns out the story was fake. Beyonce did not prevent anyone from seeing their kids nor did the hospital. So that’s good at least. Hopefully next time people aren’t so quick to judge.
As a preemie (27 weeker) parent I would have been LIVID if I or my family couldn’t have seen my son. As a parent whether the baby is preemie or not, I am livid. I could care less about how her baby was born and am happy and excited for them as new parents but for the hospital and her security to do this is way over the line. ALL babies are precious God go given Miracles not just celebrities. I understand their need for privacy but they ALL went way too far.
The story was fake. But I agree with you if it had been true.
@mamacavy
V, I think you’re awesome and I absolutely agree with what you’re saying about who should be held accountable for this.
BUT I have to say, I cherish the photos of me post-birth with bad hair and no make-up. They are a symbol of how I brought my daughter into this world. Even if I were rich, I wouldn’t have changed that! If I were rich, I’d totally have bought a king size bed to labor in though!!
Oh, man, I didn’t even realize it was you when I went to agree with your comment. Aww, love, my friend!
I too love my messy, stressed out, crazy sweaty, curls gone wild post-birth pics. And I can tell you that 10 minutes after birth, I wasn’t worried about photos and looks. I was holding my sons and being mesmerized by their existence.
I wasn’t worried either. I got ready during contractions to distract myself. A mother is no less interested in her kids because she chooses to put her best face forward. Its a woman’s personal choice.
Oh and your gravatar is beautiful
We already talked about this and I feel the same way about both sets of birth photos but what can I say i love looking good. God knows it doesn’t happen often. I’m holding on for dear life for those moments when i do
Collaboration = Joint Effort/Joint Responsibility
@Klypt
I think, once again, you nailed it!
I think women should have the right to a have the kind of birth that they need to have. I also wonder if the alternative to such a celebrity paying for a private suite could have been much more disruptive to the hospital. Who knows maybe the ‘extra’ money the hospital made might pay a lactation nurse for a few shifts or heck I would have been thrilled with some two-ply TP after having my kids.
The problem is that women’s choices and especially the choices they make about their own bodies is always up for public debate. Especially if that women is in the public eye, or happens to be non-white.
I looked awful in the moments after giving birth, oh well.
Okay. I really don’t care WHAT I look like giving birth, because I’m doing one of the least flattering looking things possible. Pushing a baby out of my vagina and bleeding a bunch after baby comes out. People judge Beyonce for what was happening because she knew what would happen as far as security goes and that people would be restricted from seeing their own babies. This disreguard for others is outrageous. I don’t CARE that she had a c-section. I care that her actions made other people suffer, “for the sake of her celebrity privacy”. YUCK!
You do know that the story turned out to be false?
And if it was true it wasn’t HER actions that caused the issue it was hospital policy. Attacking a new mother is ridiculous especially since everyone had the facts all wrong to begin with.
You stirred the pot today, didn’t you!? I love it! I am another reader that had a baby in the NICU for 6 weeks. I would have been livid if I was told I couldn’t see her one day! Not sure who is to blame though….so no judgements from me!
It’s awful! I can’t even imagine. I don’t like stirring the pot lol I get all antsy but then I remember people get worked up over everything so meh might as well keep writing ; )
Hope you’re well!
As an OB doc, I’d like to support your statement that we should not be judging her — because a lot can go down in that labor and delivery room, and none of us are privy to her medical history and what decisions she made in conjunction with her husband and doctor. Any obstetrician worth their salt wouldn’t offer an “elective” C-section just because she was “too posh to push”, and at any rate, whose business is it anyway what the mode of delivery was? Certainly not any of ours. I do wish that she was able to deliver without disrupting the other families at the hospital, and I agree that access to the NICU should absolutely not have been blocked for other patients.
I’d like to add that despite what you wrote, we as providers (and representitives of the hospital) absolutely DO care about the health, feelings, and well-being of our patients and their children. It can be challenging when we have multiple people to please, including all our patients, as well as hospital administration which often pushes us to be even more efficient and do more with increasingly less time and resources.
Thank you so much for your comment. I’ve heard similar sentiments echoed by healthcare professionals about the myth of the excessive “too posh to push” c sections. I’ve been told that no legitimate and ethical healthcare professional would participate in such a hot mess.
Also I should clarify I know without a doubt that providers do care. I’ve been blessed to have some incredible providers myself. I mean a hospital as a for profit entity not the individuals that tend to patients specifically.
Thanks again. I really appreciate it.
@SewSoDef
Hi! If you drop back in – I wondered if you might comment on “too posh to push” – when it doesn’t necessarily have to do with being posh. At least, celebrity-level posh.
I know a good number of middle-to-upper-middle-class professional women who had elective (1st baby) c-sections for a variety of reasons – scared of labor, school start cutoff dates, maternity leave options, etc. Nothing to do with medical necessity. They all had doctors from reputable practices and gave birth at nice hospitals in major cities. I’ve read about this online quite often in addition to those I know personally.
While those reasons for surgery aren’t as over-the-top as “I’m fabulous and I don’t wanna”, I’ve heard of it happening often enough that it’s not an anomaly. It also seems unlikely that all those women had bad OB/GYNs… so is it really that unheard of, in your opinion?
To be clear, I’m not trying to start drama. Just wondering what your take is – do you see all those reasons I listed as fitting in the “too posh to push” camp, or do you see them as something different?
I would hesitate to label providers who do elective C-sections as “bad”. I would simply say that the best and most well-respected providers tend to practice medicine that is evidence-based, which is to say that it is based on the best, most widely-accepted and peer-reviewed research that is up to professional standards. There is no place for induction of labor or C-section in evidence-based practice for anything other than medical indications. Common indications for a C-section would be breech presentation or history of a prior C-section (if the mother so chooses). A common indication for induction would be going to 41 weeks, as evidence indicates the risks for mom and baby of going past 41 outweigh the benefits of remaining pregnant. The ones you mentioned–scared of labor, school start cutoff dates, maternity leave options–obviously wouldn’t qualify. There might be some wiggle room of 1-2 days to work around things like holidays, work schedules, arranging childcare, etc.
Now, as a provider, I could choose to provide an elective induction or C-section for my patient if they really pushed for it. Does that happen? Yes. Is it the best thing for the patient? Probably not. But the OB doctor has to accept the risk and the responsibility, and if something goes wrong, you’d better believe he or she will have to justify (possibly in a courtroom) why that induction or C-section was provided.
@AJ — I hope you are not a birth provider. The information you have posted is not accurate. “as evidence indicates the risks for mom and baby of going past 41 outweigh the benefits of remaining pregnant.” <–FALSE!
Thanks again for this information. Very thought provoking.
That’s a very interesting question.
You look totally GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I see nothing wrong with a woman wanting to look good during/after labor — or at any other time. But I have to say — it hurts me to my core to see a baby just minutes old that is all wrapped up like a burrito with not even a patch of skin to skin contact
. This is such a slap in the face to the normal physiology of birth. Skin to skin is so important for both baby and mother, especially in the first few hours after birth — it sets all kinds of things into motion from a mother’s uterus, to baby’s ease with BFing to bonding as skin is baby’s #1 form of communication. Not much about birth makes me more sad than to see a baby shortly after birth with no skin to skin. And that hat is just the kicker. It’s useless and only distracts from smell and touch 
.
Thanks so much.
actually my child wasn’t ever away from me. Wasnt even washed. Just wiped clean. We had immediate skin to skin. The reason she is wrapped up is because we were in Vermont and I was being transferred from my birth suite to the older recovery wing and the corridor is cold. No way in hell was I about to be right back wheeled around in a wheelchair cold and topless with a newborn : )
The hate on Beyonce is even worse if the article I read was true that access to the NICU was closed for *twenty minutes* and that hospital administrators had not received any complaint — upset parents have only talked to the media. The reported $1.3 mil was for remodeling the suite to have things like a bulletproof door and safety glass, not to shut off access to huge chunks of the hospital. (But it should be noted the hospital chose which suite to rebuild, if there would be substantial problems for other patients presumably they would have picked a different one?) Beyonce had a miscarriage previously so it’s entirely possible that she has continuing health issues and that the c-section was not elective. It may have been scheduled, though, which I guess some people confuse with elective since it was not a last-minute decision.
I don’t know what is true in this situation but it seems there is a lot of hate and few facts
Oh and BTW I have three college degrees including two in law and I could not really care about typos unless it’s clear you make a big habit of a particular grammar error. I don’t know what educated people k thinks she is speaking for but I don’t tend to hang out with people that intolerant anyway
You’re the best!
AMEN!! I’ve been saying this from the beginning!! For a community that prides themselves for being educated with FACTS, well apparently this birth didn’t apply! I also find that for a community that are choosing the best parenting style “gentle parenting” that for some reason this does not apply to other mothers. Our children learn from our actions, the change start with us!! Thank you for this and you look great after the baby…I on the other hand looked like i got run over by a train TWICE!! lol
Yes, I agree that several parties seem at fault here…. though, God help me, I’m slightly jumping to conclusions. The “security”, Jay-Z and Beyonce for hiring them, and the hospital officials that allowed it.
If accomodations culd be made for the vast amount of staff that make up the NICU, they could have done so for the parents.
Not to mention all the extra care that NICU babies need. Have they ever heard of kangaroo care? That’s skin-to-skin contact with parents (esp mom, but dad too) that help preemies enormously. And (if they’re) breastfeeding, or getting the babies the colostrum (if you’re pumping). Even if the parents of the NICU babies chose not to do any of this… they should have been allowed the RIGHT to chose not to do it.
I had twins in the NICU, so my heart goes out to this dad and his precious family.
I couldn’t give two flips about how B/JZ chose to gave birth… what’s important is that Blue Ivy got here safely. And, I pray, those other babies in the NICU did not suffer for it.
!!! Love your comment.
@odd_mama_out
All that judging about being ‘too posh to push’ and it turns out that she likely didn’t even have a c-section. Which begs the question “What else did we read that is pure bullshit?” Haters will hate…and with hating comes lying.
Not one has come back to say they were wrong.
Such great points!
Thank you : )
Just love that she had a natural birth and the nicu stories were false. Makes the meanies look even meaner!!!!!!!!!!
It’s awesome! Proves my point exactly. Don’t judge/read tabloids/be a jerk without knowing facts.
I didn’t know anything about this until I saw someone post a pretty judgmental message about it on FB. They didn’t mention the celebrities by name so I had to Google “$1.3 million for private hospital suite” and alas, now I see what they were so upset about. But I must say, we cannot judge a person unless we’ve walked a day in their shoes.
Yes ma’am. I know I’m not one to judge as I’m far from perfect.
you go girl!!! <3 this!!!!!
Thanks for your support.
@mahoganywaymama
Wanted to let you know that I linked this post to a post on my birth blog. Excellent post, thanks for sharing! We women say the most awful things to and about each other. It really needs to stop. We should be supporting each other instead of tearing each other down.
You looked beautiful after giving birth!
http://themahoganywaybirthcafe.wordpress.com/2012/01/12/how-you-can-have-the-goddess-treatment-aka-the-beyonce-treatment-too/