Fugly Shoes, Horny Makeup & Mr. Noodle: Things That Got My Goat This Week

I have really missed writing these posts. I find it hard to get riled up these days and am not too sure why. I suspect it is because I leave the house much less frequently now that I stay home with the kids but never fear my friends, with warmer weather comes more contact with the outside world and presumably a lot more goat getting.

Lelli Kelly Shoes

lelli kelly shoes

NeimanMarcus.com

Okay I know that I do not have the most feminine of tastes at times but seriously what the hell is going on here? These shoes are awful! Or maybe they aren’t? Maybe I am the problem. I have no idea but I can tell you that this is precisely the kind of thing that always scared me about having a daughter.

Some parents worry about teen pregnancy. I worry about my daughter wearing sandals that look like some sort of bedazzled fiesta unicorn excrement. No thank you. Is it me or are these $69.00 shoes hideous? I know for a fact that God will punish me and C will be begging for these as soon as she is able to crawl into Neiman Marcus but for now these shoes got my goat. Too fug for words.

Nars Makeup

nars super orgasm blush

Sephora.com

It all started with the Orgasm blush. The name wasn’t an issue since the color was so beautiful. As the years went by I grew more and more attached to the Nars brand but then I noticed something: dirty and filthy makeup names. Orgasm, Super Orgasm, Sex Appeal, and DEEP THROAT! Come one now I know that I am the coolest person on the planet (its true. My mom said so.) but I have zero interest in sounding like one of those Atlantic City HBO documentary hookers when I am at the makeup boutique.

Whatever happened to perfectly acceptable names like Georgia peach? or Ribbon candy? I don’t know. Something appropriate for an old lady like me. I am not a prude but this whole schtick is lame and played out. Cut it out Nars. Unless you are targeting Atlantic City hookers I would like a return to normal makeup names. Not that there is anything wrong with makeup for hookers but do hookers really spend $27 on blush? Seems like a waste since they work in the dark mostly but anyway I digress. Knock it off Nars!

Mr. Noodle

mr noodle

Muppet Wiki

I am sure that he is a perfectly nice man or clown or whatever he is supposed to be but would you let your kids hang out with this guy?

Could they make Mr. Noodle any more creepy? Is it the hair? The silence? The oversized clothing?

I have no idea but this is the exact kind of dude I was taught to avoid at the park.

Mr. Noodle always gets my goat.

 

 

 

 

What Got Your Goat this week?

CrunchyVTMommy

 

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  1. Holy crap! I’ve never heard of Mr Noodle before now!!! Creeeeeepy!
    DanaK recently posted… Its BOZEMAN- not BOOZEMAN!My Profile


  2. Mr Noodle has made appearances in such Oscar contenders and Popeye the Movie, My Blue Heaven, and who can forget the Don’t Worry Be Happy video.
    Liz recently posted… Why I Loathe Multi Level Marketing ScamsMy Profile


  3. Hilarious! I am totally with you – those shoes are Fugly!
    The make up names do get me – I am all for cool, quirky names but I don’t want to ask for “Deep Throat” anything, EVER. I used to work for a cosmetics company years ago and we had fun coming up with product names – my claim to fame was Cotton Candy, a name for a collection of pastel eye shadows – ok, a bit My Little Pony-esque but still much easier to ask for that something that’s being edgy for the sake of it!
    No clue who Mr. Noodle is but he looks like a perv!

    Your blog is hilarious! I am so glad I found you!
    MummyinProvence recently posted… 8 things I wish I had known!My Profile


  4. Mr Noodle is creepy. But what really creeps me out, is the fact that my child loves him. SMH
    Rose’s Daughter recently posted… Lessons of True MotherhoodMy Profile


  5. I hate those shoes too! Super high-in-the-air high five!

    Alls I’m sayin on the blush is if someone offered me a $27 blush and it was called “red dog crap” I’d be stoked cuz $27 is like ridic ridic ridic expensive for blush! I’d be like, smear that red dog crap on my palid, sallow cheeks!

    I don’t know who this Mr. Noodle guy is but trust you gut. He looks like a real creep.

    Heart you!
    OttosMom recently posted… Thats a Crock of Baked Potato Soup!My Profile


  6. 1. Those shoes are kinda cute, but I wouldn’t pay more than $10 for them. They look like walmart brand (the kind I get for dd).

    2. “deep throat”? Is it like, lipstick you swallow? LOL EW.

    3. Mr. Noodle is SO weird and I saw him with Elmo. My kids hate Elmo, so hopefully I won’t see Mr. Noodle ever again.
    Teresa recently posted… Sunday Confessions- Easy- breezy- beautifulMy Profile


  7. “That’s a lovely shade of blush you’re wearing”

    “Oh thanks, it’s my favourite super orgasm”

    And here I was thinking it was tacky to name cocktails after orgasms and sex …


  8. Those shoes are totally fugly. I held out so long on buying Em’s spring/summer sandals because I kept seeing so much stuff with bling and bedazzling. I figured she’d be better off going barefoot.

    Ended up finding her something cute and age-appropriate at $tride Rite.


  9. This made me laugh so hard that I almost shot an ice cube out my nose!
    You had me at “bedazzled fiesta unicorn excrement!”
    The shoes are bad. Really bad. And more than $2?! For what exactly?! Surely not wearing on a regular basis and NOT as a joke!
    The make up names… seriously… hookery. And yeah, hookers shouldn’t spend that much on comestics. Are they even awake and about when dept. stores are open and able to sell this stuff? Freak demographic for sure.
    And Mr. Noodle… always makes me think of the guy from Big Love in a bad wig. And THAT creeps me out even more than his ill-fitting clothes and exaggerated gestures.
    Sarah recently posted… The Gift of Kind EyesMy Profile


  10. You know Mr. Noodle has a brother AND sister, right? Total creeper city. Why are our kids into silent, hobo-like perv clowns? (although thankfully my LJ is over elmo completely.)


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