Sometimes I feel like making a video like the leave Britney alone guy but then I realize I barely have time to shower and my mind quickly wanders to more important things like whether Cameron is tap dancing on our office chair.

Have you ever watched Honey Boo Boo? The show is about the life of a little beauty queen (Honey Boo Boo) and her family. They live in rural Georgia and have been referred to as redneck messiahs. They seem like sweethearts. I obviously don’t know them well since I’ve never met them and only watched half of one episode of the show. This isn’t a heavily researched analysis of their personal characters so please do keep that in mind when you show up with your pitchforks.

If you’ve known me for some time then you’ve no doubt heard this countless times: shows like Here Comes Honey Boo Boo are not evidence of mankind’s demise.

Here’s why.

Whenever there is a new American sensation of the low brow variety I hear the same lame rumblings.

“What is this world coming to?” “People are getting dumber by the day.” “That show is trash.”

It’s been said about 16 & Pregnant, The Real Housewives, Jersey Shore, and many more. Funny thing is no one ever says it about the Bachelor and Bachelorette shows and those are about as gross as gross gets. Sure I’ll hook up with you on national television for the chance to be with you. Classy! Anyway I digress.

Human beings have enjoyed cheap laughs and thrills at the expense of others and themselves for as long as they have walked the earth. I have proof.

• Roman Gladiators: human beings (often against their will) fighting animals or each other to the death. When’s the last time you bought tickets to some good old-fashioned gladiatorial combat? People no longer fight to the death for our amusement. I’d say Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is a vast improvement.

• Bear Baiting: hunting dogs were set upon chained bears while the Elizabethan elite looked on in delight. Sometimes they let the bears loose to chase animals or people. Good times! Watching innocent animals attack each other until they were maimed or dead was how the Elizabethan upper classes passed time. Crappy reality tv or getting chased by an angry bear, which would you choose?

• Minstrel Shows: known as “the comic enactment of racial stereotypes” according to Britannica. People would paint their faces black and mock the singing and dancing of slaves. That’s some pretty vile business. It turns my stomach to think about it.

Mankind has made vast improvements in the quality of entertainment it enjoys. It’s undeniable. Of course it would be amazing if we could all retire in the evenings with a glass of  thirty year old Macallen fine oak scotch and a Downton Abbey viewing. Fabulous!

The truth is that people are sometimes entertained by simple things. Stop acting like you’re too good for it. I dare you not to laugh at the next person who trips in front of you. It’s hilarious (unless someone gets hurt, is elderly, or disabled. In those cases you should be helping you jerk). I slipped on a banana peel fifteen years ago. I still laugh.

Here comes Honey Boo Boo is simple, light-hearted fun and millions of people enjoy it. People want to hear about Mama’s forklift foot. Leave them alone. It’s not my cup of tea but who am I to judge? I laugh hysterically at sixteen second commercials starring cats.

I’m sure you enjoy something completely low brow and ridiculous too. For those of you who feel the family is being exploited read this interesting analysis. You feel like an a** now don’t you?

Leave Honey Boo Boo alone. Or I’ll make a creepy and terrifying video.