Needy kids are greedy a**holes.
Some people truly believe this. Don’t believe me? Read on.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. For some. For others the holidays are a painful reminder of empty stomachs and empty space beneath the Christmas tree (if there is one).
Thankfully there are charities and kind people aware of their good fortune who choose to give back to their communities and less fortunate neighbors. It’s one of my favorite things about the holidays. One doesn’t have to look far for an opportunity to make a difference.
I’ve been fan of charity work for a long time. Not because I am a selfless saint but because in my late teens and early twenties I was vain, selfish, and frivolous. I disgusted myself and decided to volunteer as a Big Sister during my lunch breaks at work. Once or twice a week I also volunteered at Boston homeless shelter’s men’s medical clinic at 6:00 a.m. before work.
My days were long. 6 am at the clinic, work from 8-4, head to the local grammar school for meeting with my Little Sister, and class from 6-9. I loved it. I needed the reminder that one of my purposes for living was to share my good fortune with others to the best of my ability. The company I worked for at the time was involved with many community charities in Boston’s South End. I remember during one toy drop at the Salvation Army one of my coworkers remarked disgusted about one of the children’s toy requests. The child asked for one of the latest handheld video game systems.
“How dare he! These kids are needy? Why don’t they ask for socks and shoes? These kids parents are probably on welfare and abusing the system.”
On and on.
I was pissed. Yes. How dare this child believe in Santa Claus and the kindness of strangers and ask for something that his well off classmates will receive?
The nerve!
“Well, these kids need help from their parents to fill out the requests maybe they’re asking for these gifts so they can sell them for drug money. The kids will never see them!”
Of course! Anyone needing help of any kind is a drug dealer/addict/thief/schemer.
Of course! It all makes sense.
This was a company where no one batted an eyelash at a 22-year-old driving a new top of the line Porsche. MONEY. These people could afford to buy each child an Xbox if they wanted to. Even those of us further down the totem pole were doing well. Very well. We would shop and dine on Newbury Street without batting an eyelash but a video game for a child? NO WAY!
Why make a child’s innocent dream come true when you can judge and shame and be an asshole?
Pardon my rant but this issue comes up every year and I’m sick of it. If a child’s innocent request for the latest toy offends you then maybe you should redirect your energy.
Christmas isn’t solely about consumption but we are talking about children. They believe in Santa and magic and just want to be like their friends. For one day they’d like to forget they are poor, that they have less than everyone else, or that they are different.
Shame on you. You are an asshole. You probably also donate your expired cans of pork and beans to the local food shelf while patting yourself on the back for being so charitable.
If you don’t have the means to afford an “extravagant” gift then buy the child something else and be quiet. It isn’t a big deal. Maybe some of the requests don’t come from a good place but who cares? Would it really kill you to squash the inner cynic for a minute and believe that your good deed and gift will go to someone that is truly deserving?
Stop being an asshole.
Help your neighbors and remember what the season is about: helping in any way you can.
Not judging innocent children for having the audacity to hope and dream and want to be like everyone else for one short day.
Grrr…I know exactly what you mean. I hear this kind of crap in the most annoying place, i.e. from FAMILY! Are you freaking kidding me?! And perhaps, like you said, sometimes the requests don’t come from a good place, but since neither I nor my family have ever wanted for anything that we actually needed or been in a position to seek help from a charitable organization, I think I’m not really in a position to judge. I wish others felt the same way. I remember having a conversation with an old friend of mine while we were driving around Houston (where she went to grad school). She pointed out a bunch of homeless kids hanging around a parking lot and made some disparaging remark about how they were making trouble or something. I said that they were probably there because (as i had noticed), there was a community center a block away. She sort of harumphed and then said that she was sure if they cleaned up their acts and went home, their parents would take them in. I was shocked – at the judgment, the naivete, the lack of compassion. I’m not perfect – I think things that I’m ashamed of sometimes, but I still think about that statement when I need to remind myself to have compassion.
Exactly. Right. I think people want to believe the poor are bad so they can feel less guilt and superior in some way.
Right on the money, girlfriend. Go get ‘em!
Thanks so much love xo
Great post!
YES. Amen. Having worked with families that were desperate at Christmas I remember these comments and looks. Or just flat out, “I’m getting them stuff they need.
Sometimes. I truly hate most people. I try to remember how Christ was. He rolled with the lepers and the poor. I wanna be like that guy.
@SewSoDef
KILLEM!!!
*diddy dancing in a puffy metallic suit* take that. Take that.
LOVE this.
Thank you!
Amen!
High five.
I feel like consumerism is the worst thing that’s happened to poor people since the progression of the nuclear family. I don’t feel kids are greedy for wanting fun toys, but I hate the culture that makes them and their parents feel so deprived and desperate to keep up with the Joneses.
I don’t think the culture of consumerism is something unique to the poor. I think it’s just as prevalent among the well-to-do, if not more so because they have the means to keep up.
I agree consumerism is definitely not unique to the poor, but the poor have more to lose by adopting it; there’s no way they can win.
Totally but it’s always been this way. Ask people that grew up in the 50s. The unpopular kids? Usually poor. Stuff = better in America and has for pretty much always. I think we romanticize at times but people have always been pretty crappy to the poor. Now it seems that there is this allusion of attainable wealth that keeps the poor poor. The mortgages they shouldn’t have had but were encouraged to open. Etc. it’s ever more painful now.
I just want to shake people like that. It’s a WISHlist. Kids don’t wish for socks and underwear and school supplies. They wish for what other kids have and what they see on TV!! Such a good post, thank you!
Thanks so much
im searching for a way to change this somehow. When we aren’t in school anymore I think I’ll do it. I’ll start my own charity for kids to get what they +want+ everyone deserves a little fun and magic.
@Asilentstorm_
I love this. So so true. I especially loved this sentence: “I needed the reminder that one of my purposes for living was to share my good fortune with others to the best of my ability.” That to me is the embodiment of this whole human experience.
I try. I am the opposite of perfect but one thing no one can ever say about me is that I’d turn my back on anyone in need. Ever. It’s too important. That could be me. My kids. One never knows.
AMEN! I am so tired of this idea that just because a child or family is less fortunate doesn’t mean they don’t deserve any nice things, whether that’s a nutritious meal or a fun toy. Unless you get angry when your own child asks for those kind of gifts, keep your mouth shut and buy something nice that you can afford, if you’re not able to buy what the child wished for.
Keep in mind there are lots of agencies to help with life’s necessities…the point of the holiday wish-list is for the kids to get something extra and FUN!
Preach! Exactly.
right on!! I totally agree with you.. People like that piss me off too
Sadly the majority of people think that way. It’s so depressing. Luckily I have some awesome friends like you xo
@nystoopmama
Agree. When I was teaching, the social worker at both elementary schools had a “secret santa” tree with paper ornaments that listed items that were needed by struggling families that attended the school. We, as teachers, were supposed to take a few ornaments and go buy the items and anonymously give them to the family through the social worker. First of all: no toys were allowed. A bunch of asshole teachers decided that was frivolous and greedy and that the kids should be thrilled to get a pile of socks and scarves on Christmas morning. Second: EVERY YEAR I waited until the week before Christmas to pick my ornaments, and EVERY YEAR they were ALMOST ALL STILL ON THE TREE. Don’t get me wrong, we’re all teachers, and teachers aren’t rolling in dough: but how can you look at those students in your class that LIVE IN A SHELTER, and not pitch in to buy them a pair of fucking sneakers and a football for Christmas? How selfish can people be?
So EVERY YEAR I would end up grabbing almost all of them (even though I couldn’t afford it), and in every box with a winter coat, pair of snow boots or mittens I would secretly shove in a toy of some kind. I just couldn’t bear the thought of facing those kids in school knowing they didn’t have anything to open on christmas morning. It BAFFLED me that other teachers were able to just ignore their plight while they stuffed their greedy faces with everything in sight.
Ugh. Assholes.
Exactly! I wouldn’t expect less from you because you’re amazing but it never fails to shock me how callous and sick people are. They’re kids! People like to think they’re so different from the poor. Most aren’t. Sometimes all it takes is a lay off or illness.
Funny how few comments this post got huh? : ) I wonder how many Luther’s are the same way. Screw the poor kids. They get socks!
I think that the a few bad cases have given some the opportunity to take this approach. I think just the opposite! Our list last year was coats, socks, and new tennis shoes. I burst out crying! The kid wanted an effin coat and socks?? FOR CHRISTMAS??? Serious? So of course I went and got the essentials and a bike and a DS. It literally broke my spirit that a child asked for things that any/every kid should have any way for Christmas. Check the charity..make sure you know what you are doing and then GIVE, GIVE, GIVE. These are their childhood memories. Are we supposed to be ok with kids not having gifts and wondering why Santa didn’t bring them gifts?? Not in my universe!
@ajiradarch
omfg. That’s disgusting. Seriously. I just went and read some of those comments on Amazon. Why do some people feel such a strong need to be self-righteous? And judging children? On their Xmas wishlists? Classy. Real classy. I thought the whole point was for kids to dream, and dream big? Who wants sock for Christmas? I mean, seriously? I’m a grown ass woman and still dream of getting a 50 1.2 and guess what? It costs thousands and if I don’t get it (if, ha!! IF!!) then it’s all good. The dream was still worth it.
Completely agree, there’s absolutely no obligation to get what the kid asked for. Being a shithead about it does not make you charitable in the least. So messed up.
On another note…one year after my husband had lost his job and we had no income and we were one of these families asking for Blue Santa/Brown Santa/Periwinkle Santa…whateves…help for presents for our kids one year we were balked at for my kid genuinely asking for a pair of shoes (she wanted a pair of flats and a sweat suit along with a board game she wanted. They told us “We’re not going to help you get these items, so pick a toy”. Our system is so backasswards it’s disgusting.
It definitely sucks that people think that way. Selfish assholes. When I was a single mom, I worked 1 full time job, 1 part time job, and I was going to school full time. I still had to get help from some of those foundations to give my son a good Christmas. Of course he asked for what he wanted, just like any other child. It sucks that someone would make an assumption about our situation because we needed assistance. I worked my ass off to provide for him the best that I could and it still wasn’t quite enough.
I’m thankful for that time at the bottom. It humbled me and I am now less quick to judge.