Strollers and Privilege
I am not rich. You can tell because I do not wear a monocle. Well, I wouldn’t wear one anyway because all that squinting would give me wrinkles. True story. I do however consider myself a person of privilege. My family has health insurance, food to eat, and clothing to wear. We are fortunate. My good fortune is not always outwardly evident.
Yesterday my husband informed me that my flip-flops were too small. I asked him in my typical needlessly horrified manner “Why would you say such a thing?”. Perhaps I threw in some slightly more colorful language. He responded “Um, because your ashy ass heels are hanging off the back of your shoes”. I looked down and much to my surprise my ashy ass heels *were* hanging off the back of my flip-flops (in my defense I never wear flip-flops and threw them on because I had high hopes of getting a pedicure on Sunday).
As usual I digress. The point is that sometimes obvious privilege makes people uncomfortable. I recently read “The Stolen Stroller: An Urban Bourgeois Problem?” in the New York Times and immediately thought of my beloved, my UPPAbaby Vista. Was I being judged by passerby as I strolled through bucolic Ithaca with my babies, iced coffee, camera bag, Ergo baby carrier, water bottles, soccer ball, and snacks in tow?
I love that stroller. I will tell anyone that is willing to listen. It has nothing to do with needing a parenting status symbol. My two-year old son says excuse me when he passes gas and that is something to show off. Not a stroller. The author, Elissa Gootman, asks:
Is the idea of a $400 stroller so outlandish that, on some level, those who have so lost sight of their own privilege as to leave one unattended almost deserve to be robbed? (But my stroller was a double! And we do a lot of walking! On bumpy sidewalks!)
I have neither lost sight of my privilege nor would I ever leave my Uppa unattended. That is crazy talk. Once an irritated Rainforest Cafe waitress informed me that there was a stroller corral for my convenience in front of the restaurant. I thought to myself haughtily “Do you know what kind of stroller this is? Surely you jest”.
Of course people want to steal expensive strollers! Some of them are downright awesome. Does your baby care? Probably not but other Moms and Dads might. My stroller is luxurious and makes my life a lot easier. I could make do with a less expensive stroller but why should I?
If I wasn’t a God-fearing woman I would totally be down with stealing a stroller. I really cannot blame the riff raff. I do however have an issue with the notion that I have outlandish spending habits due to the value of my stroller. We all have priorities and frivolities. It is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe you think my stroller is outrageous and perhaps I disagree with your gold toilet. No problem. No issues here.
I love my stroller. I am aware of my privilege. My heels are ashy and I need some lotion.
Are you a stroller judger? Do you think spending hundreds of dollars on luxury strollers is a frivolous waste of time?
There are two separate issues here.
One, people buying things just because they want a status symbol, ie a friend’s coworker being one of the first in line for an iPhone when they debuted, but then only using it to make phone calls — she only wanted to be able to say that she was one of the first to have one.
The second issue is being able to afford things that do in fact make our lives easier. Being able to afford quality goods is a question of privilege, but quality matters when it comes to living our lives. I know women who have used heirloom strollers, handed down for generations, because the quality is so great that they don’t HAVE to buy a new one with each baby.
Also, I should probably point out that the real “riff-raff” wouldn’t be able to recognize your stroller for how expensive it is to begin with, since it isn’t even on their radar to begin with!
@bebehblog
I love this post. I used to scoff – actually, out loud SCOFF – at fancy strollers. And then I had baby #2 and dropped what used to be a month’s rent on a freaking City Select. Did my husband practically faint in the store when the sales guy told us the price? Absolutely. Do I use it almost every single day and love it and believe 100% it was worth the cost? Yes. Do I NEEEEEEEED such an expensive stroller? No. But I would rather give up family vacation for two years (not like we were actually GOING on vacation, but we COULD have if I hadn’t spent the money on a stroller) and not cry with frustration at a cheap piece of plastic crap that broke every two seconds. Privilege is tricky like that, because even though I don’t feel bad about my decision I still feel like I need to justify it.
Gold toilets sound super uncomfortable.
@TheDanaK
I never used the stroller that came with my infant bucket seat (Graco?). We have a Jeep jogging stroller that’s been used twice, maybe. Needless to say, I don’t care about strollers and I’d have no idea what your stroller is worth. I keep thinking I might get a cheap umbrella stroller but then I think that it will be one more thing to keep up with. I’ll stick with my slings & baby carriers.
However, if you show up in a wrap conversion ring sling in a special weave, I’m probably going to be impressed…and maybe even think about permanently borrowing it.
@loveismayhem
I don’t care about strollers, because we so infrequently use one. We had a Maclaren, which was perfect for the Seattle city streets. I don’t judge either, unless someone has a Stokke, those are ridiculous.
I am lucky, even though we have to conserve sometimes, and given the situation that we’re in.
We have all that we want, need and my children are well dressed.
I’m a stroller snob. I admit it.
@mamacavy
Judge? No way! I want that stroller!
I too am a stroller snob! I’m not wearing the best clothes, shoes, or have my hair fixed perfectly, but I do have that Uppababy Vista! I bought it for its features, like I can add a the rumble seat, the accessories included, and the large canopy. There are some places I will not take my stroller because someone always makes a comment about it and it makes me uncomfortable because we do not have a lot of money! In fact, I have more in coupons than I have in my checking acct! Thanks for your post, I enjoyed it!
I don’t have a need for a stroller, but I am a snob when it comes to certain things. I want really good facial cleansers, toilet paper and tissue. What’s the sense of using single ply toilet paper? I will buy my jeans at Walmart however. It all depends. Oh, and no cheap food if possible.
@Klypt
Stroller snob
Our stroller(s) are our second car, I use them a lot, and we used to (and still do) live in an edge neighborhood, meaning two blocks to the west and I had no worries because the people stealing strollers wanted one because they needed it, but largely didn’t have any idea that mine was worth GULP almost $800. no stores sold them locally, and Internet usage is low. If I went 2 blocks to the east I had no worries either because that $800 stroller was COMMON. I never really thought about it until I got a compliment and promptly responded, “My son has generous grandparents!” Which is completely true, but why was I so quick to disassociate myself? Maybe I just didn’t like the idea that anyone would think I would be so conspicuous with my consumption, ( I’m not ghetto); Or that I might have a roll of $20′s in the bottom of it.
Im struck by the one time i immediately claimed ownership, when some one said to me,”Where did his parents get that stroller?” But that was mostly because I felt like this woman was making assumption about my class because of my color, (which is a bit browner than my son). Did I need to prove that not only the boo, but the bugaboo was mine?
I don’t have a nice stroller at all. BUT I really want one. I am a total stroller luster. My friend and I talk about them all the time and we went to the amusement park a couple weekends ago and we stalked every parent and their strollers and talked to each other about the color and style and double-nesses and prices. It was like, the most fun ever.
@mommyboots
I personally don’t care about strollers. They’re just not something I drool over. Graco, Uppa… Er… That’s pretty much the extent of my brand knowledge. I’m much more likely to lust over a fancy diaper bag. I get total diaper bag envy.
So we just moved into our new neighborhood and we’ve been trying to figure out the good places to eat and get drinks and yada yada yada. There is this cafe that is just a few blocks from us, says they are family friendly…they WANT you to bring your kids. But, strollers have to stay OUTSIDE. Unattended. No in a corral of any sort. Just hanging out there on a busy street with lots of foot traffic. This restaurant is pretty much the opposite of cramped. It is spacious and open.
I am kind of appalled, because frankly, why would a restaurant want me to drive my family there when we could walk? This is a green city, we live in a crunchy localvore neighborhood. I see it as a blatant attempt to keep kids out, at least kids under a certain again because seriously, who in their right mind would leave a stroller in any price range all by it’s lonesome for anyone to walk by and take?
All that said, I would pay a pretty penny for a stroller that I loved, the double that I have is a beast and although it was pushing $300, it’s just more trouble than it’s worth.
I see people that have the same stroller as me and wonder if they are are stroller stob. I got a bugaboo frog on craigslist for $150 in awesome condition for my 2nd and I love it.
I’m a stroller snob. I have 2 strollers… both retail for over $300. But you know what? IT’S WORTH EVERY PENNY. Because they are easy to maneuver and I love using them and blah blah blah I’m obsessed with my strollers and take better care of them than I take of my car.
I don’t judge you for having a nice stroller… and I only leave mine if I can still see it
@Klypt
Slacker mom: bike lock!!!! Used it tons of times, once thru the tire spokes around the handle and well if there’s no rack at least they got tinwork for it!
The UppaBaby Vista is a fabulous stroller and I wouldn’t leave it anywhere either. I used to get nervous when I was at an amusement park and had to leave my stroller in the corral. Thankfully it’s always been there when I returned.
Sadly there are crappy people out there always looking to make an extra buck at someone else’s expense. For this reason, I keep my favorite stroller stored away in a locked garage.
@textdrivebys
i never knew about expensive strollers until i came across stokke a few months ago. they look like the rolls of strollers and with a similar pricetag. do i want it? YES! can i afford it? probably not. i would probably steal one from disneyland. oh wait, i do have shame and really wouldn’t.
Iv’e never had the fancy stroller…oh but do they look pretty!
With Audrey I mostly babywore and during a family trip to Kansas City I ended up buying an umbrella stroller and love it!
I do have a great jogging stroller, (my 2nd one), the first one I had left on my front porch (brand new) after a run with baby… I was supposed to just lay her down in bed and then put the stroller away.
Well, when I went back out the stroller was missing!
I don’t live in a bad neigborhood and know all my neighbors… so a passer by must have thought this was a great opportunity….
the moral of this story: take care of your Uppa!!!! ( :
I like your differentiation between privilege and “rich.” I also like that I just used the word differentiation and I wasn’t in a teaching setting. But I digress… Here in San Diego even the cheapest strollers get stolen and taken to… Mexico. Where they get sold. For cheap, probably. So when you go somewhere like Sea World and there’s a stroller corral (did I spell that right?) you walk into Shamu wondering if it will still be there when you get back. Or you make like my husband and I and buy a bike lock and strap that sucker to a light post.
I just gave myself a pedicure and still need lotion for my skin, too. Thanks for stopping by my blog on 7/4- I had a baby the day prior, so sorry to be late in thanking you for the message on Twitter.
I too own an UppaBaby Vista and adore it. By far my favorite baby item I bought.
When I was pregnant I did my research and also asked moms the million dollar question, “What is one baby product I must have?”…the majority of the responses were, “A good stroller”. The main reason why I got such an expensive stroller was the fact that I don’t have to buy another stroller when we have another baby, thus saving money. I saved my pennies for that vista! I always fear that someone would steal it…so I always keep it safe by! great post! I feel very privileged to own one.