I don’t.

A friend from a writing group I belong to wrote a post outlining her goals for the month of February. It made me happy to see how well it worked for her the previous month. I believe in the power of positive thinking and goal setting but I am stuck.

So stuck.

I have no goals. I’m drifting aimlessly for the first time in my life. Obviously, I’m happily churning away here and on various freelance projects but I’m not actively seeking more and can’t figure out why. I’ve talked about it with a few friends and most think it’s because of our current nomadic existence.

Perhaps.

I am way out of my element but my life is comfortable and full of happiness. The kids have been sleeping fairly well. I have no clue what’s going on. I can’t motivate myself to scheme or dream up anything exciting. It’s very unlike me. I’m trying to force myself back in to a writing routine to see if that helps me get back to pitching or book writing mode because I do love to write. I’m not going to abandon it and it seems reckless to continue without a plan.

Where is my motivation?

The year is still fresh and I’ve read countless posts about new beginnings, making this the best year yet, and all that happy faced glittery stuff but it won’t rub off on me. I’m so blah when it comes to motivation lately.

I think it’s a cycle. I haven’t set goals because I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what I want so there are no goals to set. Am I making any sense?

2012 was an incredible year for me and so far 2013 has been as well. I have everything I need and want. Should I want more? What happened to my motivation? I try to remind myself that this state of temporary stagnation won’t last forever.

I hope.

How do you motivate yourself?

I hope you enjoyed your Memorial Day weekend. To say we did would be an understatement. We had a blast. So much freaking fun! Three fun days filled with great food, lots of laugh, and plenty of sunshine.

Summer has unofficially begun. I find this time of the year inspiring. There’s abundant sunshine, the happy sounds of birds singing, and plenty of time for outdoor fun. When the weather is pretty I find myself in a near constant state of delirious happiness. There’s so much to enjoy and look forward to. Summer is wonderful.

Kyla Roma’s recent post about her summer intentions inspired me to reflect and think about what I want out of this summer. We’ve got about seven weeks left in Indianapolis and plan on visiting Vermont, New York’s North Country, Massachusetts, New York City ( for Blogher) and Toronto, Canada before the Fall semester begins.

I’m thrilled that we’ll get to spend unrushed time with family before getting back on the MBA grind but I wanted to have a tangible reminder to make the most of this short season.

I crossed the first item off my list yesterday. We took the kids to their very first little water park. They loved it.

Can you tell?

Here’s my summer wish list.

• Take the kids to a little water park.
• Make frozen yogurt at home.
• Learn the Zone system.
• Give Indian food a (sincere) try.
• Do something really special for Father’s Day for my husband.
• Swim in a (hopefully non gross) lake (that doesn’t have huge fish that touch me. Ew.)
• Throw Preston an awesome third birthday party.
• Photograph Shelburne, Vermont. One of My favorite places in New England.
• Take kids to fireworks for the first time.
• Wean Cameron (!!!).
• Lose the last ten pounds of baby weight (I’m so close).
• Photograph a hood car show in Indy.
• Take pictures of my father in his office with the kids.
• Read three novels (not business books!)
• Complete a portfolio review with Stacie
• Start driving lessons.

Nothing crazy. My goals are small and totally within reach, pressure free and very fun. I can’t wait to get started.

What is your number one goal for this summer?

OH! Have you signed up for my newsletter? It’s brand new and the awesome people who subscribe will receive free copies of my top-secret in the works photography e-book. You’re going to want in so subscribe today : )

Jill of Baby Rabies has an awesome linky up called 12 To Do in 2012. I loved the idea and am excited to participate. Of course I am late to the game but if you are a regular reader you know what my life is like now. Hopefully you aren’t too sick of New Year’s resolution type posts. If you are I don’t mind because I am using this post as a serious attempt at personal accountability.

At the risk of sounding obnoxious 2011 was a fantastic year. Of course there were ups, downs, disappointments, and death. It is unavoidable. There were also blessings, dreams that came true, and a multitude of unexpected surprises.

I demand more from 2012 and fully intend to execute every goal and dream I outline below and then some.

1. Obtain my driver’s license

I know I say this every year but I am going to make it happen. I was halfway there before we left Vermont. I mean it this time. I will get my license. I probably still won’t drive since passenger side blogging and picture-taking are two of my favorite activities but I am an old lady and its time. I’ll do it.

You know what though? My husband wants me to get my license and I know why. He wants *me* to run out for late night snacks and I kind of like things the way they are. That is a downside.

2. Improve my photography skills

My love of photography began a long time but I did not put it into serious practice until much recently. Completing my first Clickin Moms workshop was a turning point for me. I adore photography.

As a child I competed in pageants and the photogenic trophy was usually mine for the taking. I knew subconsciously what a photographer needed to make a winning picture. I need to reverse that skill and capture more than just my cherubs.

There are a million technical aspects I will improve upon slowly but eventually but my main goal for the year is to work on my creativity.

3. Become more social

I don’t dislike people but I am exhausted, usually alone with the kids, and have no babysitter. This is a tough one but my mother’s helper seems to have a lighter workload this semester so maybe she is up for some babysitting sometime. There is a strip club/fried chicken place in Rochester, NY we are dying to try. Kidding. Maybe.

4. Potty train both kids

God help me. I intend to start with Pweezy any day now. I am procrastinating in the worst way. I don’t want to stress him out our upset him but its time. Also, he thinks potty train = train that revolves around the potty. Not sure how to clear up that misconception.

5. Lose 30 pounds

This one is easy. I know what I have to do and I am on my way. I want the old me back and she’s already returning. Easy. I need my old body back if, God forbid, I needed to strip to support my family. Think about it.

Sure, a husband with a Cornell MBA is nice to fall back on but you never know how its going down during this alleged upcoming zombie apocalypse. Stripping or running really fast may be your only options and both require being in decent shape. So. Ya.

6. Prepare more food staples at home

I need to jar my own applesauce, vanilla extract, tomato sauce, mayonnaise, bread, and everything else that is simple to make. Why am I buying these things? Probably because I have no spare time but I don’t care. I am going to make this happen.

I’ll post part II tomorrow. Also this picture is completely irrelevant  but cute.