Thanks for calling me fat. No. Really. Thank you.
Him: “Wow, you’ve gained a lot of weight since I last saw you.”
Me: “Well, the last time you saw me I was eight months pregnant. I’ve lost about 40 pounds since then so that’s not actually true. Thanks for calling me fat in front of my husband and kids though.”
A recent conversation I had with someone has swirled in my memory for days. I’ve never been humiliated and insulted in front of my family. It was a jarring experience. I’m thankful that my kids aren’t old enough to ask questions. However I’m happy that it happened.
I was upset because a man objectified me in front of my children and spoke to me as if I owed it to him (society?) to maintain a certain physical appearance. I don’t. After wasting too many years of my life obsessed with my outward appearance the birth of my children forced me to come to terms with the fact that I may never be the same on the outside again. That’s fine.
I’d rather spend time with my family than two hours a day in the gym like I used to. With the birth of my children I grew into a new person. Each day I try my hardest to present the best possible version of myself to my children. I am not perfect but I am their role model. I will not transfer my insecurities and vanities on to my two wonderful children. I will not berate myself over the physically inconsequential And teach my children to do the same to themselves.
The insult has strengthened my resolve. My body is not public property. It is not up for discussion or critique. I will not allow anyone to publicly insult me by pointing out my physical flaws whether perceived or real. This is non negotiable. My body is not public property to be discussed among people like a construction project. Whether you find me too big or too small is entirely your issue. Not mine. You are not my body’s architect.
No one has permission to humiliate or insult me. I do not exist to please you. My body does not exist to please you. Your opinion is baseless and meaningless. You do not have permission to insult me. My kids will learn that no person has the right to study and critique their physical structure as if they were a racehorse.
No one has been given that permission.
Sir, your insults and slander mean nothing except perhaps that you lack tact.
I owe you nothing least of all an obligation to live up to your perverse and pedestrian standard of beauty.
My flaws are many but I pride myself on my ability to look on the bright side of things. Thanks for calling me fat. You’ve strengthened my resolve to teach my children that they are not objects. Their perceived physical beauty is not up for discussion.