Dear Ms. Easily Offended

*I will preface this mini rant by reminding you that I'm fairly nuts when low on sleep. That does not however minimize this important message to the easily offended. It needs to be said. Here goes*

Not everything ever said on the Internet is about you. I promise.

That post you saw on a Facebook wall about how much your high school band friend enjoys breastfeeding her newborn child is not a direct attack at you for formula feeding.

I swear.

The tweet your twitter friend helpfully retweeted about a formula coupon was not meant to undermine the breastfeeding struggles you have endured.

It wasn't. She was just being nice.

Your girlfriend's passion for car seat education is not a full-fledged judgement attack on you for that one time you were rocking out to Britney's "Toxic" and nearly pulled out of the driveway without buckling the baby in.

Actually no one knew about it until I mentioned it. So. There you go.

Also if you don't like people "judging" or "bashing" you for buckling up your child incorrectly stop posting pictures to various social media outlets of your child improperly buckled. People kindly informing you about car seat safety isn't bashing. Seriously.

Oh, and yes. I'm talking to you. This one time it is about you. You know who you are.

Your cousin didn't pin and "like" that pallet garden on Pinterest to mock your super awesome chia pet collection.

Seriously. No one is making fun of your Scooby-doo chia pet collection. Okay I am. But your cousin wasn't. She just really freaking likes pallets.

Your sisters check in at an upscale spa in Vegas was not a thinly veiled jab at your acne.

If you feel that awful about it go get a facial. You'll feel better afterwards. I promise. You may enjoy it so much that you temporarily cease your internet whining for a minute or two.

The church event Evite your great-aunt Matilda sent you is not a passive aggressive jab at your Wiccan practices and bimonthly wine club orgies.

Great aunt Matilda was just being nice and thought you'd enjoy a pancake breakfast.

That blog post your least favorite blogger wrote about how her two-year old son speaks Latin and plays the harp was not written to make you and your filthy, sand eating toddler feel inferior.

I have a sand eating occasionally filthy toddler too. I wasn't offended. Children develop at different rates. It's a fact of life and not a statement on the quality of your mothering. Pinkie swear. Kindergarten style.

Not everything everyone says on the Internet is a direct personal attack on you. Take my word for it.

Step away from social media. Frolic in a meadow. Get over yourself. Be happy.

Sometimes people like to say or do things because it makes them happy/it's what's on their mind/they find the topic amusing/they have passionate beliefs.

It's not always about you.

Please calm down and stop polluting the Internet with your accusations of bullying, bashing, & judgment.

Good day.

.

.

I BID YOU GOOD DAY!

He is totally talking about you.

*This blog will resume its regularly scheduled programming on Monday. Until then please enjoy these ramblings from a sleep deprived lunatic. Sponsored by two gorgeous toddlers who hate to sleep.*

Oh, and this reminded me of one of my favorite Tupac songs. Psst, the edited word is "hos". You're welcome.