What was my mother thinking?

I often see blog posts and Facebook statuses of people reminiscing about the good old days. The magical days of yore before the evil helicopter parents took over. Kids would stay outside past dusk playing happily in the streets, drinking from the neighbor's water hoses, and all that jazz. I have to admit that I roll my eyes every single time I come across these messages. If our parents were so awesome then why are we such a mess? My mother is the best. I love her to death but she used to chase me around the house with a plastic lobster in an effort to get me to behave. Who does that?!?

I remember the plastic lobster well. My mother kept it on the wall and when I would "act up" she would menacingly threaten to grab it. I would call her bluff, she would retrieve the lobster, and chase me around the house. Very effective but also terrifying.

I called her and kindly informed her that I would be blogging about the suffering I have endured due to her actions. I asked her if she had anything she wanted to say for herself and she replied:

Um ya, well you were acting up so...sure. I grabbed the lobster! I don't regret it. It worked! My advice for all those parents out there is to find out what their child fears most and then...chase them with it!

Thanks mom.

There you have it friends. If your kids are misbehaving and you are at your wit's end find your own red plastic lobster to chase them with. Kids afraid of mummies? Grab some toilet paper and give it a go. Children afraid of the zombie apocalypse? You know what to do.

What about you guys? Did you parents use any unorthodox methods to keep you in line? Do you scare the crap out of your kids to frighten them into behaving?  

For anyone worried about the long-lasting effects of my mother's actions I am happy to inform you that I no longer fear lobsters and will happily eat them whenever the opportunity presents itself.